Many men with large penises report facing a common fear in the bedroom: hurting their partner or failing to meet high sexual expectations. Experts say societal pressure and adult content have amplified these worries.
According to Dr. Mindy DeSeta, a certified sexologist, some men feel intense pressure to perform and give their partners an “out-of-this-world” experience. This expectation often clashes with concerns about causing physical pain, creating anxiety before and during sex.
Dr. Rod Mitchell, a sex therapist specializing in trauma recovery, explains that repeated experiences of causing discomfort can result in “empathic injury.” Over time, men internalize these incidents, leading to performance anxiety and stress-related sexual issues.
Mitchell notes that the nervous system may interpret sexual activity as a threat if the man fears causing harm. This can result in difficulty maintaining arousal, early ejaculation, or avoidance of sex altogether.
Data shows young people, in particular, are influenced by social media and pornography. A LADbible campaign revealed that 49% of Gen Z viewers say porn has altered their sexual expectations, and 77% want more resources to navigate intimacy.
Dr. DeSeta emphasizes that these pressures are not just physical. “Men feel they must live up to societal ideals while also protecting their partner from discomfort,” she said. “The conflict can be stressful and emotionally draining.”
Therapists recommend open communication with partners and seeking professional support for men struggling with performance anxiety or trauma. Education around intimacy and realistic expectations can help reduce stress and improve sexual experiences.
While society often equates size with skill, experts stress that empathy, communication, and consent are far more important for a healthy sexual relationship than penis length.
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