A new dating trend called “Shrekking” is gaining attention among Gen Z, adding to a growing list of social media relationship buzzwords.
The term refers to dating someone considered less conventionally attractive in the hope that they will treat you better than more attractive partners.
If the relationship turns sour or the partner behaves poorly, the experience is called being “Shrekked.” The phrase draws inspiration from the animated film Shrek, which depicts the romance between the ogre Shrek and Princess Fiona.
The trend has sparked widespread discussion online, with social media users sharing personal experiences and reactions. Some have expressed frustration at the proliferation of dating terms, describing it as a complex “side quest” rather than a straightforward romantic experience. Other popular terms include “cookie jarring,” “breadcrumbing,” and “ghosting.”
Dating coach Amy Chan said the behaviour behind Shrekking is not new, but the term is. She cautioned that dating someone purely based on perceived kindness or treatability, rather than mutual attraction, can have negative outcomes.
“Plenty of people have put looks lower on the list or hoped attraction would grow over time, and that in itself isn’t a bad thing. Where it backfires is when someone assumes that just because they’re dating ‘down’ in looks, they’ll automatically be treated better,” Chan said.
Experts also warned that attraction alone is not a reliable predictor of how a partner will behave, and focusing too heavily on appearance can contribute to unhealthy or toxic dating dynamics.
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